Dilemma ジレンマ

What a dilemma. It's always great to see good photographs, but at same time, it can be hard. I become jealous and get depressed so easily. "Oh my god.... these photographs are just so great .... what am I?? This person is much better than me! I need to work harder.. yet I don't think I can be as good as her. oh well, I'm depressed now."  

That's how I felt when I saw the works of Tamami Hasegawa at Onaeba exhibition today in Yokohama. Her works were so touching, sensitive, and quiet, but was so powerful and had so many messages to tell. I fell in love with her photographs immediately and left a note saying "Thank you." Yes I was jealous and depressed (funny), but that was my true feeling. I wanted to thank her.

On the way home, I dropped by BIC CAMERA in Shinjuku and left two rolls of film to develop, killed some time, picked them up, and came back home. It seems like I was just so eager to find some hints/evidence that I'm still OK, I can make good photographs and stuff.  I don't know if I succeeded in doing that, but at least, I found some pictures.








The exposed rolls are sometimes left for months before they are finally developed. The roll I developed & scanned today was one of them, these photographs were taken 4 months ago. This is why I like films. When I scan my films taken months ago, I am moved by the scene again and be like "Yes, that was so beautiful. So great to see them again."

I love my little time trip experience with my film.